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He Has a Girlfriend But Is Still Pursuing Me? HELP!
Sometimes, guys can just be a little sketchy. And then other times guys can just be straight, cheating, dirtbags who have a girlfriend, and they're trying to pursue you. And on behalf of all men, you women can also be a little shady sometimes. But this video is inspired by one subscriber asking about a very specific situation that was driving her a little crazy. And it's all about what to do when a guy who's got a girlfriend is pursuing you.

And here's a question I got from one of my YouTube subscribers. What if he already has a GF, but he still asked me out for coffee or dinner and likes all my IG posts, especially the deeper dramatic ones. I'm 11 years older, divorced with two kids. So probably stopping him from being with me or am I too shallow? Thank you so much for the question.

So now let me dissect this question just a little bit. You asked, am I too shallow? You are absolutely not too shallow in this situation. In fact, it sounds like you're being thoughtful because you realize this guy's in another relationship and you're trying to think through your future.

Which leads me to point number two, which is you're divorced with two kids. Now it's important for everyone to be very intentional with their love life, but it's especially true when you're a single mom. You now not only have to protect your heart, but you also have to protect your children. So long story short, avoid this man like the plague. But here's the thing—I've been doing this long enough to know that just telling someone to stay away from another person in their love life is not really going to work because it's only going to appeal to your logical side of your brain, which says, "I probably shouldn't do this." And the reality of love and relationships is that most of us make decisions with our emotional brain because that is what love is. It's the most powerful and potent emotion that ever existed.

So for all you women out there who made bad decisions in your love life, what I'm gonna do is show you an exercise where you can connect your logical brain to your emotional brain and start actually making better decisions. So any time you're deciding whether or not to invest more in a guy, what I want you to do is start imagining your future together. My dating advice to you is to imagine your life in three months. Let's say you actually started talking to this guy and things go well, and he breaks up with his girlfriend and you continue seeing him. Well, how are you going to feel at this point? Are you gonna actually be able to trust him? And then fast forward a few more months or even a year forward, and you are now in a relationship with this man, but this whole relationship was founded based on him incredibly sketchy with his last girlfriend. How are you gonna feel about the security of this relationship? Are you ever gonna feel like he is gonna be a guy that you can really settle down with? And then I want you to imagine him if you did marry him, what would he be like as a husband? Would he be caring, thoughtful, attentive to you, or would he be the type of guy who goes out and does whatever he wants whenever he wants it? And then continue down this path and even step forward a few more years, and imagine even if you had children with this man, what would he be like as a father? Would he be an honest, caring, and kind person? Or would he be the type of person who lies to his children and abandons them in the worst way?

This exercise is what I call a relationship simulation. What it forces you to do is take the information that you currently have about a person and try to simulate what it would be like in the future with that person. And rather than going from short-term relationship to short-term relationship, just following every single emotional impulse that we have, this forces you to actually think in the future and actually emotionally connect with each of these milestones. So long story short, is once again, avoid this man like the plague because if you did continue with him, it would be an absolute nightmare of a life you'd be living.