This Is What Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist Does To A Decent Person
What transforms a vibrant spirit into a hollow ghost trapped by trauma's grasp? This harrowing alchemy plays out across the world as decent people #traumabond tightly to those determined to break them. Through seven wrenching stages, we will trace this descent - highlighting the narcissist’s cruelty and the target’s accumulating soul loss.

In the fantasy of love bombing, a narcissist showers affection, care and understanding to enchant their target. Seen, appreciated and intrigued, the target trusts as the narcissist tends to their unfolding spirit like a nurturing gardener. But this primeval garden hides a viper, soon to strike.

As bonding progresses, conversations revolve increasingly around the narcissist’s dramas and demands, consuming shared hours. The target’s world narrows to focus on one face as social connections fade. Financial freedom erodes too, with no reciprocity. Attempts to discuss this imbalance are shut down swiftly, eliciting guilt, anger or withdrawal. So the target tightens budgets, works longer hours and suppresses doubts, clinging to fantasy.

With the target’s fidelity assured, the narcissist’s sweet facade corrodes, revealing the hunger beneath: to erode their victim’s self-worth and feed ruthlessly on pain. Jabs sharpen into soul-lacerating swords. When the target dares revive a long-lost friendship, the narcissist erupts with accusations of betrayal and threats of abandonment. Stunned by the verbal vitriol, the target acquiesces - but inside, something essential cracks.

Seeds of self-doubt take root in the target’s psyche. Thoughts germinate: “They are right - I’m too difficult, too dramatic, too demanding. I must try harder to please them, quiet my tongue, shrink myself. I must become worthy of love.” The narcissist’s cruel projections corrode the target's self-concept and intuition alarmingly. Soon the target walks on eggshells, hypervigilant to the narc’s moods while numb to the accumulating trauma.

The narcissist now wields the target’s openness against them, intensifying tactics like ghosting, cheating, invidious comparisons. The increasingly raw and off-kilter target begins futile attempts to hold their abuser accountable - determined to clarify how the narc’s actions undermine their self and safety. But accountability evokes only defensive blame-shifting and distortion.

The narcissist insists any relationship problems owe to the target’s exaggerated sensitivity, anxiety or imagination. As reality frays, the target questions their own experience - strung along by tattered fantasy that this deeply disordered connection could somehow become loving.

Exhausted from the turmoil, the target finally accepts this relationship will never provide reciprocity or decency. They resign themselves to tolerating the unacceptable - swallowing protests, abandoning authenticity, compartmentalizing repeated ill-treatment while shelving dreams of tender connection. Now only survival matters.

The narcissist has dominated the target’s psyche, commandeering their steering wheel while they ride trapped and dehumanized. The target’s passions and preferences wither, unnourished, as the narc’s pathological perspective subsumes their own ability to interpret themselves.


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#traumabonding #traumabonded #traumabonds #traumabound #traumabondage #traumabondless #traumabondfree #traumabreaking #traumaliberation #traumablocking #traumashackles #traumachains #traumatethered #traumatied #traumashackled