Do you see how Mika starts to touch her hair after a few seconds of compliments? This is due to both the mention of her hair but MORE importantly, this is the preening effect - when someone compliments us, we subconsciously start adjusting ourselves to make sure we look our best for the person who believes we are attractive. We feel we need to live up to their standards. Plus, the stroking action calms us down slightly by neutralizing the anxiety of being held to a higher standard (aka very attractive). Notice how she reorients herself towards Cedric and in addition listen to how the pitch of her voice rises.

Tonya Reiman is a media personality, speaker and author of three books on body language and nonverbal communication. For more information, visit: http://www.tonyareiman.com

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